It was an ordinary Wednesday that began with extraordinary joy. As I traveled to a private encampment only 20 miles from home, my expectations for the day grew and the obvious delight on my face must have made other drivers suspicious, if not envious. Weeks before, I had made the commitment to take a prayer retreat one day a month. With enthusiasm, I could envision a whole morning and afternoon basking in the wonderful presence of the Lord.
I arrived early and made my way to a modest chapel overlooking a small river. The February chill outside made the warmth of my little sanctuary all the more inviting. I began my day by asking God to open the doors to heaven so that I could enjoy Him in the discipline of prayer and worship. Then I began. I read Scripture. I meditated on passages. I quoted verses and memorized new ones. I prayed. I sang hymns aloud. I prayed more.
And I wept.
Five hours into my day, joyful anticipation had turned to bitter frustration. I paced the aisles angry with God because, though I was drawing near to Him, He seemed so far away from me. In all of my seemingly spiritual exercise, why did He seem to elude me? Why didn't He respond to my invitation? How could He let me sacrifice a whole day in communion with Him and yet never descend to be with me? Couldn't He hear my prayers? Why did I feel so alone?
I don't believe that God speaks audibly, but, that day, His words were undeniably clear. He said, "My child, I'm not hiding from you. You've been hiding from Me. And, before you can enjoy fellowship with Me, you must uncover the hidden places of your heart." The words were indicting but true. I harbored sin—habits, words, actions, attitudes—that had been concealed. Rather than admit my sin, I had ignored it hoping that my many other seemingly spiritual activities would cast them into forgetful oblivion. What I really needed was honesty before God. That day, I learned that communion with God must be preceded by confession before God.
Running for Cover
Genesis 2:25 contains the only description we have of the first man and woman:"[they] were both naked, and they felt no shame." There is no comment on their height, their weight, their eye color or hair style. They are described in terms of their nakedness—an indication not only of their lack of clothing, but of their inward condition as well. They were vulnerable, open, without sin and without shame. Adam and Eve had nothing to hide.
However, one chapter later, sin entered the world and the two panicked. They did what every person does in response to sin and guilt: They ran for cover. First, they covered their physical bodies (Genesis 3:7). Having disobeyed God, they immediately realized that their nakedness no longer brought freedom but fear. Second, they attempted to hide from God (v.8). Rebellion against God made them ashamed and scared to face Him. Finally, they attempted to hide their sin by placing blame on each other and the serpent (vv. 11-13). Rather than admit responsibility, they each pointed fingers of accusation.
During my day of prayer, God began to painfully reveal to me my own hidden places. I saw the residue of pride, impatience, anger, laziness and more that had been shoved back into the shadows of my soul. Certainly, I'm not alone. Every person is inclined to live part of their life in obscurity.
During the last few years of ministry, I have become more saddened and less surprised at the exposure of people who were found to be living a hidden life. A man abandons his wife after 20 years of marriage. A church leader is caught in sexual immorality. A young woman admits her addiction to drugs. Another’s long bitterness comes out into the open.
This kind of “double life” affects us in many ways. First, it ruins our relationship with other people. In an effort to conceal his sin with Bathsheba, David manipulated her husband Uriah (2 Samuel 11:10-13), led his commander into a conspiracy to murder (vv. 14-15) and ultimately brought disgrace on himself and the kingdom. The words of Moses to God's people long ago are just as certain for us today: "…you may be sure that your sin will find you out" (Numbers 32:23). In a shocking instant, what has been private for many years will become public. And, when it does, interpersonal relationships will be injured as friends are sure to remark, "We really thought we knew him."
Second, David testifies that secret sin without open confession also leads to personal anguish. In Psalm 32, he records his own personal misery of a hidden life:
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. (vv. 3-4)
The constant conviction from God’s "heavy hand" makes it impossible for a person to experience the joy of an abundant life.
Finally, the most dangerous result of unconfessed sin is the inability to rightly relate to God. In Luke 18:9-14, Jesus told a parable about two men who went to the temple to worship (It could have been a day of prayer!). The first, a Pharisee, stood up and prayed about himself saying "God, I thank you that I am not like other men––robbers, evildoers, adulterers––or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get." The second man, a tax collector, stood at a distance and looked down. His words were simple but rose from the deep catacombs of his heart: "God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
The words and actions of both men are telling indicators of the condition of their hearts. The first "stood up." He was confident in his righteousness. He preferred to compare himself with others rather than measure himself against the standard of God. In contrast, the tax collector could hardly enter the temple. In humility, he refused to look up, but beat his breast in spiritual grief instead. And, his prayer expressed a right understanding of his spiritual condition. He was a sinner.
The Pharisee went away empty and self-deceived at best. He thought that his religious habits could cover up an unrighteous heart. The honest tax collector, on the other hand, went away justified. He received what he came to the temple for––restoration and communion with God. Why? Because he confessed a heart which had nothing to hide. "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise" (Psalm 51:17).
Exercising Naked
To confess means to "admit" or "concede." It involves the stripping away of any layers of disguise and exposing what is really at the center of who we are. Confession is the discipline of making an honest appraisal of ourselves.
In 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Paul commands his young disciple to discipline himself for the sake of godliness. Paul warns that many people involve themselves in activities (i.e., "godless myths and old wives' tales") that give the appearance of spiritual maturity but really have no eternal value. He writes that the only worthwhile goal is godliness—a character conformed to God's character. But, such conformity only comes by way of discipline.
In this passage, the word "to discipline" or "to train" is the Greek word gymnaze from which we get “gymnasium” and “gymnastics.” Literally, it means “to exercise naked.” Unlike modern competitors who concern themselves with protective padding and equipment, ancient athletes would strip away clothing and accessories which might prevent them from performing their best. The Christian also must make it their habit to strip away anything that hinders them from achieving the goal of godliness.
Confession is the means by which the Christian throws off what is useless so that he or she can put on those things which are truly helpful.
Hebrews 12:1 states it best: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Once the Christian enters God's "gym" and throws aside every hindrance and entangling sin, they stand naked before God ready to receive His forgiveness and the filling of His Spirit who produces the character of godliness for eternity.
Coming Clean
If confession is the means by which God humbles His people and thereby draws them closer to Himself, it is a discipline that should be practiced frequently. Scripture guides our thinking with several principles that help those who desire to get naked before God.
Confession begins with a view of God's holiness. Years ago, when my best friend was sharing the gospel message with me, he asked the question, "What is the reason why God would let you into Heaven?" Essentially, he was asking me about my standard—the scale that I used to determine "good" and "bad." I answered that, in regards to most people, I was "pretty good."
My faulty view then is the same perspective that many people today, even Christians, have in regards to sin. They compare their sinfulness with the relative sinfulness of other people, not with the absolute holiness of God. If other people are the standard for determining how good or bad I am, I will always make myself look better than I really am. But, if the holiness of God is the standard, then I realize that I fall miserably short every day. And such a view leads me to honest confession.
Isaiah realized this in his marvelous vision of God. In the year of the king's death, Isaiah was transported into heaven and was overwhelmed with God's holiness (Isaiah 6:1-4). The holy seraphim who attended the throne covered their eyes because of the brightness of God's purity and hid their feet because they walked on holy ground. In an instant, the prophet's humanity was confronted with God's divinity and the immediate result was exposure. He cried out "I am ruined!" When he compared himself to God's holiness rather than other people, Isaiah realized his own sinful condition. Likewise, when we enter into the presence of God and come face to face with His holiness, our irresistible response is to confess sin.
Confession may be painful. Once Isaiah admitted his condition, the Lord responded by sending one of the angels to touch his lips with a coal from the altar. No matter how "cleansing" it may have been for that fiery brand to burn away the impurities, there must have been great pain for a while. The same is true of confession today. There is pain in the midst of purging.
Few people look forward to the prospect of bearing their souls to God, much less to other people. In confession, there is no defense. There is nothing to hide behind…no protection. And, as a seminary professor said, whomever we open ourselves up to, we give permission to hurt us deeply. Sometimes, the realization that we've hurt someone through our sin or the understandable response of disappointment from others may be painful. But, it is a necessary risk in the restoration process.
Fortunately, God always demonstrates grace. Proverbs 28:13 confirms that, "he who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." The Lord's purpose is to restore, not ruin a person who is honest before Him.
Confession always precedes revival. From the Great Awakenings of the 18th and 19th centuries to modern movements, God has stirred revival among His people by beginning with confession. When people are broken, God begins a work of renewal in them through His Spirit.
In 2 Chronicles 7:14, we read of the promise to restore people and land, but only as a condition of the people's humility and confession. The transparency and vulnerability of several individuals led to personal revival from the hand of Jesus on several occasions (see John 8:3-11; Luke 7:37-48). Even Isaiah was offered the privilege of ministry once he had been broken before the Lord (Isaiah 6:4). Before God will begin a work of revival in people, they must be broken before Him.
Confession should occur within the context of community. Coming from a Roman Catholic background, I resisted the practice of confession before other people for many years. I believed that my sin was strictly between me and God. Indeed, there can be danger in confession outside of the context of community. Confession before an unfamiliar group of people who have no prior relationship can be damaging for the group as well as for the individual. Confession is given and received best in the context of relationships.
Yet, the Scriptures encourage Christians to confess their sins to each other (James 5:16). In John 20, Jesus gave his disciples the ministry of forgiving sin (v. 23) and, in 2 Corinthians 5, Paul speaks about his call to be about God's reconciling work.
Some years ago, I was dating a girl that I had grown to love very much. Our relationship was growing deeper and it seemed that marriage was imminent. One evening, during a singles' retreat, she and I were talking and I told her that I had some things deep inside me that I needed to confess to her. I wanted to be honest with her and I wanted to be honest to God. I spoke for a few minutes and then there was a deafening silence. After a contemplative minute, she said, "David, this is hard. But, I forgive you and I know God forgives you." Even though I had been a Christian for several years, I remember that evening as being one of the greatest experiences of the grace of God. Two years later, we were married.
The church is the assembly of believers who are joined by the common benefit of Jesus Christ's redeeming sacrifice. Each of us are sinners saved by grace. Within that community, there is safety and the opportunity to give and receive God's love, forgiveness and reconciliation. The benefit of confessing my sin to another Christian is that I can experience the blessing of acceptance and restoration firsthand.
Confession must be complete. The IRS received the following letter one year:
"Enclosed you will find a check for $150. I cheated on my income tax return last year and have not been able to sleep since. If I still have trouble sleeping, I'll send the rest."
How easy it is to offer partial confession while knowingly retaining other sin. Such a token activity doesn't cleanse the soul, but rather leaves a false sense comfort and little appreciation for the abundant grace of God.
Hebrews 4:13 reminds us that "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." In other words, we can run, but we cannot hide. Everything we are and have done is exposed before Him who knows us completely. Such a thought shouldn't evoke fear, but should compel every person to be thorough in confession resting on the Lord's generous promises of forgiveness for those who have nothing to hide (1 John 1:9, Psalm 32:5).
The question is sometimes asked, "What should I do if there are sins that I can't remember?" The answer: Thank God. According to His compassion and mercy, God causes us to forget some of the sinful things that we do for if we were to recall every sinful thought, word or deed of every day, we would be miserable creatures. We cannot confess every sin we've done, but we should confess any sin we remember. Therefore, we must strive to be completely honest to God.
At three years old, my oldest son could play "hide-n-seek" for hours on end. He'd shut himself in a closet and shout from behind the closed door, "Daddy, go count and then come find me!" The favorite game of a child parallels the life of many older people in two ways. First, we foolishly think that we're hiding well not realizing that God knows exactly where we are. Secondly, the best part of the game is not the hiding, but being found. No child likes to stay hidden in the closet. And no person can have contentment when secret sin is hidden away in the recesses of their heart. Liberation comes through confession. The Psalmist begs, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24). The "everlasting way" of God is joy, peace and freedom. And such things come only when we practice the discipline of confession and live in the grace of God with nothing to hide.
Originally published with minor differences in Discipleship Journal, Issue 99, May/June 1997, as True Confession: Are You Skipping the First Step Toward Intimacy with God? Used with permission from The Navigators.