I want to share with you about the importance of abiding in Christ in the busyness of life, but first I want to be honest with you and let you know that this is actually the thing I struggle most with in my walk with God.
I struggle with prioritizing relationships over accomplishments. I tend to prefer being busy over being still and quiet. And because of this I struggle with being truly vulnerable and intimate with the people closest to me—my husband, children, and even God.
When our first daughter, Caroline, was turning 1 we decided to throw her a birthday party! Up to that point I don’t think I had ever planned a party for anyone entirely on my own. Between that and the fact that she was my first child and this was her monumental first birthday, I put a lot of pressure on myself to provide her with the BEST party of all time.
I set out in search of a theme that would represent her personality to the tee. At that time she loved rubber duckies. You know, the little, squishy, plastic ducks that are usually given to kids as bath toys? She played with them during bath time, and while we were poolside, and she even had an entire bin of them in her bedroom.
So, it was obvious that the theme should be all things ducky. I purchased the most adorable ducky cupcakes, as well as a smash cake with a giant duck on it, and I sent out duck invitations to every person on the face of the earth that would be remotely interested in celebrating Caroline’s first year of life with our family.
The big day finally arrived, and every detail came together beautifully! Rubber duckies were floating in the pool for the swim party, and plates, napkins, tablecloths and balloons were strategically placed to display the amazing and obvious duck theme. To my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed hosting the party and taking care of all the guests, even though it was my first time to do so. My husband and I especially loved helping Caroline open her presents. It was so sweet to see her eyes light up with each new toy that she was given.
Then the moment arrived…the pinnacle moment of every birthday party… for us to sing Happy Birthday to our baby girl and watch her blow out her very first candle.
But there was a problem. As my mom brought the cake out and the candle was lit, no one realized that I was inside the house cleaning up after the guests and trying to prepare for this next phase of the party. While I was working to ensure my daughter’s first party went off without a hitch, I heard her birthday song being sung in the distance. I immediately dropped everything and rushed outside, only to miss her blowing the candle out. I could see the puff of smoke coming from the wick. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized I was so focused on celebrating my daughter by providing her with the best party I could throw that I actually missed being with her during the most important part of the celebration.
I had been working so hard to serve her that I forgot the importance of just being with her.
Sometimes, as Christians, we do this with Jesus. We are so focused on serving Christ with our lives and honoring Him in everything we do that we forget to just be with Him; to sit at His feet and abide in Him.
Even in the midst of a daily quiet time you may find yourselves running through a spiritual disciplines checklist instead of actually seeking a relationship with the Living God.
I think that is especially true of us when our lives get busy. Like during the Christmas season. We fill our calendars with parties and gatherings, serving opportunities, and church events, and then we are left feeling frustrated, frantic, and inadequate to do it all. And we miss out on Jesus and forget that He is the reason for the season.
This reminds me of the story of Martha and Mary. Interesting fact: This story is only recorded in the book of Luke, in Luke 10:38-42.
This is a story that many of us know well. We KNOW we should seek to be more like Mary. We have heard the sermons about how great it was that Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet. We have done countless Bible studies on “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”….we get it!
Mary was the most spiritual of the two sisters, right? No! Not necessarily!
You see, as Jesus comes into our lives, His Spirit begins a sanctifying work within our hearts. He changes us day by day to look more like Him. Luke 10 just happens to contain a record of one of Martha’s moments to learn specific ways that God wanted to grow her and make her more like Jesus.
So, Mary may have chosen the right thing on this day at this time, but rest assured she wasn’t perfect! Because No one is! How do we know if this true?
Because we read in Romans 3:10, “There is no one righteous, not even one.”
In this passage, most scholars focus on what Martha did wrong. I do think it’s important that we identify how Jesus was calling her to grow so that we can grow from her story as well.
But I think it is equally important to note what Martha did right. Some of you may be thinking, “Wait! Martha did something right in this passage? I have never heard that said of her.” I think that is because we always tend to focus on all the ways we fail in life but we seldom give thought to the ways God has helped us to become more like Him.
I don’t know if you do this, but many of my days end with me hitting the pillow at night and going through a long list of all the things I think I failed at, which turns into an even longer list of things I should have done differently. It’s as if I am holding a broken magnifying glass that is able see my failures with crystal clear vision, but when it comes to seeing my successes in life, its magnifying potential becomes powerless.
Our days are filled with a mixture of great, God-honoring moments and not so great, self-seeking moments but we typically define ourselves or even our spiritual maturity on the basis of one or two bad decisions we made within a day. The truth of the matter is that we are all messy, broken people, like Martha AND Mary, whom God is refining day by day to reflect Him more and more.
Okay, back to the passage and what Martha does right. Notice how the story starts in Luke 10:38.
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ”
Martha, not Mary, opened her home up to Jesus as he came to her village. She initiated an encounter with Jesus by inviting Him into her life and into their home. That was one very important choice, and we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the significance of it! If it weren’t for Martha’s invitation to Jesus to come inside their house, Mary may not have been sitting at His feet on that day and hour.
Now, it is true that once Jesus enters their house the two sisters do seem to have very different responses to Jesus’ presence. Verses 39 and 40 say that Mary sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But in contrast, Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.
So, Mary instantly sits and enjoys Jesus’ presence while her sister Martha gets to work in order to serve her Lord.
You may have have trusted Jesus as your Lord and Savior but you still feel like you should get to work and pay back what you have been given. But, the gift of salvation is a free gift to you because Jesus already paid it in full with His life, death, and resurrection. Therefore there is nothing you can add to it! And even more, there is nothing that needs to be added! Jesus paid it all!
Or, you may feel completely secure in the atonement Jesus paid for you, but, if you're honest, when you are given an opportunity to sit and rest at Jesus’ feet you feel far more comfortable rolling up your sleeves and getting to work. I am with you. I find it challenging to sit and be still before the Lord. My mind and heart start racing with thoughts of what I need to do and who I need to serve.
But Mary seems to get this right…she sits, even when culture would say she doesn’t have a place to be there with the men and that she should be in the kitchen instead. She knows where her identity is. It is with Jesus.
You know the other woman in the Bible, other than Mary, who seems to make all of the rest of us look bad? You know the one whose husband and children will arise and call her blessed? That’s right—the famous Proverbs 31 woman! You may want to throw tomatoes at me for mentioning these two women at the same time. It’s challenging every time we read these passages because we are always comparing ourselves to others around us, wondering how we measure up, and if we are honest, feeling like we don’t.
But listen to what Proverbs 31:14-17 says about this woman:
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
Listen to this…
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
And in verse 27 it goes on to say…
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Mary and the Proverbs 31 woman are both praised in Scripture, and yet the things they are praised for seem to contradict the other. Mary is praised for sitting at Jesus’ feet instead of working and the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for working hard and not being idle.
So, which is it?
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We know the Bible is the inspired Word of God and is inerrant, which means without error; it can’t contradict itself. So both must be true.
When we are faced with what seems to be a contradiction in Scripture, there is either a misinterpretation or a mystery.
So why then does Jesus seem to be correcting Martha for choosing to serve Him when the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for working hard and serving others?
Let’s back up and read what Martha is doing up to the moment Jesus tells her that Mary chose what was better. It says in verse 40 that …
"Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made."
So we see that while Mary had her eyes fixed on Jesus, Martha’s eyes and mind were focused on the work that she thought had to be done.
Then, she comes out of the kitchen, heads straight for Jesus and blurts out a question. “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?"
Wow! Martha must have been crazy distracted and overwhelmed to actually think, for one second, that the Jesus she knew could possibly not care about her and her life!
What was she thinking? I mean, she blatantly accused Jesus, her Lord, the creator of the universe, who had come to save her, of not caring about her?
And if that weren’t bad enough, she continues to make matters worse by going so far as to TELL Jesus,the Lord, how He needs to respond to this situation!
She demands, “Tell her to help me!”
If you have ever worked with children or have children of your own you know this scenario well.
Everything seems fine in your world. It is quiet and everyone is getting along. Then, seemingly out of nowhere a child comes to you with a look of injustice and determination on her face. She is so visibly upset by the incredible actions she has just witnessed that she can hardly maintain her emotions while giving you the “tattle-tale play by play.” As you listen to her rant, you begin to see her misplaced anger, intense jealousy, unrealistic expectations, and deep bitterness. It becomes painfully apparent to you that the heart and behavior that needs to be corrected is actually her own.
Likewise, Martha’s interaction with Jesus seems to reveal that the problem is not with her sister, as she seems to think, but instead it is within her own heart.
Notice Jesus’ response to her in verses 41 & 42:
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
In this moment, in my opinion, Jesus responds graciously to her disruptive, tattle-telling, and bossy rant. As I read the verse I imagine him tenderly saying her name twice, “Martha, Martha,” perhaps to snap her out of her bitter perspective. Then He gently tells her that she is worried and upset because she is focused on things that aren’t needed. He goes on to say that only one thing is needed, and it’s what Mary has chosen.
What did Mary choose? What is the one thing needed? What is the one thing we need? Jesus! He is enough. We don’t need anything else! No "Jesus plus this" or 'Jesus plus that." We simply need to abide in Him!
Right before school was about to start this year, I found myself having a conversation with three women at church about the logistics of homeschooling our children. One of the moms, in particular, was driving the conversation as she inundated us with questions about how to homeschool a preschooler.
Although I had the most homeschooling experience of all the women in the conversation, I tried to lay low and allow the other moms to share their advice and wisdom. The question was asked, “How many minutes a day would you commit to teaching a preschooler?” I quickly began calculating the hours in my head… “Math is at least 40 minutes, reading is another 30 to 40, then there is writing, art, science, recess,”… While I was still adding up the numbers my easy-going, fun-mom friend replied, “About 45 minutes a day.” I was utterly shocked and appalled! I asked myself the obvious question, “How could you deprive your child from a formal education in an actual school and only commit to 45 minutes a day instructing them? How can you even sleep at night?” Of course, I knew better than to voice those judgmental questions out loud to my friend.
The next day, I was on a run. I was frantically thinking about the day ahead and listing out a million and one prayer requests to God. “Lord, please help my 13-year-old to wake up with a great attitude and get all her work done, maybe even working ahead, without arguments or complaints. Please help me to teach my 8-year-old how to memorize her times table and learn how to write in cursive. God, help me to clean the house, do the laundry, make this week’s grocery list, and minister to the women at church today.”
In the middle of my list, thinking about all “the preparations” that had to be made and all that I wanted to do with excellence, God interrupted me by asking, “What if 45 minutes a day is enough? What if you are wasting energy trying to jump over a bar that I didn’t set for you? What if you are putting value in things that don’t actually matter and using up precious time that you could be using on what I have called you to? What if playing with your 8-year-old is more important than her learning her times table today? What if you are hurting your relationships with your kids by expecting too much of them and of yourself?”
His questions probed my heart and helped me to realize that my friend, crazy as I thought she was, had likely chosen the better thing. And maybe that meant that I was missing out on the thing God wanted me to focus on? At that moment I knew I had wasted time and energy being worried and upset about many things that God hadn’t actually asked me to do.
Martha likewise got lost in the preparations that she thought had to be done that day. There is no doubt that the list that she had in her head of how to host the King of the world in her home was extensive and overwhelming. But Jesus tells her she is worried and upset about many things that aren’t needed. He points out that the only thing she needs is Him!
Maybe Martha had hosted a lot of guests in her home in the past and she received accolades for her gift of hospitality. Maybe she had been looking to the right and left at the women around her and she felt like she didn’t measure up so she decided to work harder and be better, which may have caused her eyes to drift away from Jesus and on onto herself, her list, and her work.
It’s important to note, though, that Jesus is not telling Martha that she shouldn’t work to serve others. We can conclude this by reading other passages in the Bible.
We as believers are most definitely called to be servants of the Lord.
In fact, in John 12:26 Jess says: “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.”
Notice Jesus is saying that we must stick with Him in order to serve Him. We must remain in His presence and fix our eyes on Him. Then we will know what service we are called to do and we will have the power to do it.
Mark 9:35 says: Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
Jesus tells his disciples that they must serve. So, we know Jesus is not correcting Martha for wanting to serve. Rather, he is pointing out that her eyes are fixed on the wrong things and that abiding in Him is essential to the work that He will do through her.
In John 15:5 Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
When Martha left the kitchen to call on her Lord for help she was headed in the right direction for the right person but when she opens her mouth and demands her sister’s help in the kitchen it becomes clear that she misunderstands where her help truly comes from.
She didn’t need Mary’s presence in the kitchen; she needed Jesus’ presence in her life.
Janna Wright said, “When we concentrate on Jesus first we discover that we are never truly without help. (Heb 13:5) We experience His grace is sufficient for all things that we face. And we find inner peace and strength to face whatever comes our way (John 14:27). Those are the kinds of truths that keep us calm in even the busiest of seasons of serving.”
Jesus sees that Martha is acting on the fatal belief that she can serve God or others without communing with Him.
This is a dangerous trap! How often do we jump on the works treadmill and decide to run this race on our own and in our own strength?
Are you feeling anxious and afraid that you won’t measure up? Are you exhausted and overwhelmed by the preparations that you think need to be made? Are you bitter about the freedom that someone else has as she sits at the Lord’s feet while you are breaking a sweat working hard to serve Jesus?
You’re not alone. This world pushes us towards work! It tries to identify us by what we do vocationally and how much we can produce in a day’s work. We are taught to strive and push forward. We are told to pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We are shown images of perfection in magazines and on social media. It is easy to get lost in the busyness of this world and in the unrealistic demands that we put on ourselves or allow others to put on us.
But we all need to hear and believe that only one thing is needed—Jesus! Acts 4:12 says that salvation is found in no other name. The name of Jesus is where we find freedom from the works we think we must produce.
He is where our identity and security can be found. He has already done the work that was required for our salvation, and now He is the author and perfecter of our faith. His Spirit is at work in us to will and act according to God’s good and perfect will (Philippians 2:13).
So, it’s time we lower the bar. Let's stop looking at ourselves and our work and instead fix our eyes on Jesus. Let’s proactively choose the better thing.
Let’s let go of the impossible standards that we put on ourselves to prepare. Perhaps we don’t need to do everything on our lists. Maybe some of them are things we have been consumed with, but in fact aren’t actually needed.
For instance, one of our busiest times, Christmas, is about celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus. It’s about remembering the moment that he left his heavenly throne in order to live the life we couldn’t and die the death we deserved so that we could be with Him for all eternity. It is His birthday, but sometimes we spend the Christmas season so focused on details that don’t matter—creating the perfect Christmas cards, hosting another party, buying a billion gifts that will just be re-gifted, or decorating the house to the hilt to win another neighborhood competition—that we actually miss just being with Him.
We have all that we need in Jesus, and if we have put our faith in Him, He is living in us.
Practically speaking, how can you abide in Jesus in every season?
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Ask for God’s help: Remember you can’t do ANYTHING on your own!
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Be still and quiet: Mary SAT and LISTENED to Jesus.
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Intimacy with God is the only goal.
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Decrease distractions: Martha was so distracted that she missed enjoying Jesus’ presence in her life
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End with praise and worship.
Ask yourself: What does it look like for you to abide in Jesus and focus on the one thing that matters most? Or ask Him what it might look like in your life. He's right where you are. You can sit at His feet and listen to Him even now.