Dealing with Conflict in Biblical Community

Conflict between people is often looked as something to be avoided at all costs—just pretend it’s not there and maybe it will go away. This only allows the offense to lay dormant and grow and fester. Conflict could also be seen as a contest or competition between individuals or groups. The selfish goal would be to win and, by default, to defeat your opponent. Both of these flawed approaches eventually lead to loss of trust, hurt feelings, division and potentially the death of community.

A better way is to look at conflict as an opportunity to trust the Lord, obey His Word, and strengthen relationships. In my experience as a pastor, this happens 99% of the time when the following are present.

1. Humility
   
   James 4:10
   “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
   
   
2. More listening to one another than talking at each other
   
   James 1:19
   “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry.”
   
   
3. A mutual desire for greater understanding
   
   Colossians 1:9b
   “…We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.”
   
   
4. A strong commitment to working through the struggle and not give up
   
   Galatians 6:9
   “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
   
   
5. Awareness of how God reconciled us to Himself and we are called to the ministry of reconciliation
   
   2 Corinthians 5:18-19
   “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”‭‭

As leaders in biblical community, we are called to set an example to those under our care. Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth (1 Corinthians 11:1), “Imitate me, as I imitate Christ.” How we deal with conflict will influence how we lead others to deal with conflict in their own lives. As we rely on the Holy Spirit for wisdom and grace in dealing with the struggles we have with others, let’s not shrink back from exhorting and encouraging those in our groups to do the same.