There’s a boy who stole my heart—he calls me Mom!
Hi! I am Debbie and I love a prodigal.
His name is Jarrad. Although he is now 35 and a “reformed prodigal,” the devastating and heartbreaking journey has forever changed me.
My goal in sharing what I learned is first to honor God, and secondly, it is my hope to bless and benefit you. I will try to share tools, insights, and biblical principles that will have an impact on your relationship with the Lord and that of your prodigal.
People become prodigals for a variety of reasons.
This is our story.
When Jarrad was 14, three major events happened in our family that were devastating…and he walked away from the things of God. We were not prepared for the dark path of self-destruction, rebellion, addiction, and incarceration that followed.
I encourage you to read the story of the prodigal son from Luke 15:11-32. Ask the Lord for personal insights.
First, let me define prodigal:
- Definition: lacking restraint, “reckless spendthrift” – having spent everything
- People headed in the wrong direction, living life in dysfunction, reckless abandon, and destructive rebellion, with unrepentant hearts
Second, you will need biblical strategies to fight for your prodigal. These are my top 10. (My prodigal started as a teenager; you will need to adjust according to their age).
- Fight Fearlessly for Them!
- Nehemiah 4 – Fight for your families! Build with one hand and fight with the other.
- Ephesians 5 – Armor Up! You must stay in God’s Word daily to receive direction, comfort, and keep your spirit renewed.
- Let your prodigal know you intend to fight for them with your last breath.
- Get your Emotions Anchored.
- Hebrews 6:19b – “This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.”
- This may require intervention with a clinical professional. Your fits, crying spells, silent treatments, demands, threats, cuss fits, or guilt trips will not be productive.
Why are they doing this???
Answer: THEY DO NOT KNOW! They are likely feeding selfishness, addiction, strongholds, and rebellion.
- Stay Connected.
- Healthy boundaries are a must.
- Try to keep lines of helpful communication open. They may not respond, but they usually hear and read your words.
- Send positive texts, write affirming notes (on pillow and random places), leave voicemails, send love any way you can. Follow the ABC’s of communication: Let your words be Affirming, Brief and Consistent.
- LISTEN!
- Pay attention to what they are saying and NOT saying. Read between the lines. Ask good questions.
- Inquire with friends (who care), co-workers, or teachers about concerning behaviors.
- THINK! …of ways to engage them without discussing what they keep doing wrong.
- Look for Triggers.
- Pay attention to their life; their moods, needs, attitude, friends, etc.
- Have they developed new habits, new friends, started dressing differently? Has there been grief, loss, something painful, bullying, self-medicating, depression?
- Watch and Wait.
- Pray and prepare for a homecoming. Wait on His perfect timing.
- Watch for God’s providence. Providence is God’s divine care, control and guidance over a life, situation and circumstances, making one ready for future events.
- Always keep the light on and door open, giving them a bridge to cross when they “come to their senses.”
- Offer Forgiveness and Acceptance…WHEN there is repentance.
- Pray Scriptures!
- Prayer is your greatest tool—use it! Prayers can be more productive when we pray Scripture. Resources like a Prayers for Prodigals Scripture card may help.
- Consider fasting as well.
- Find Hope in Helpful Scriptures – Begin making your own list.
- Hosea 2:15 – …I will transform the Valley of Trouble into a Gateway of Hope. (NLT)
- Ezekiel 14:23 – …You shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done…(ESV)
- Galatians 6:9 – Do not lose heart, for in due time you will reap!
God continues to give direction to our family, and He has been faithful every step of the way. Jarrad is now married to Kana and they have a precious baby boy named Gunner…which means “bold warrior.”
Debbie and Jarrad have written a book together, Redeemed Rebel: 20 Perspectives from a Prodigal and His Mom. The book can be ordered directly from Debbie, and proceeds go to support prison ministry. Email: debbies@gabc.org
