In June 2000, I accomplished an amazing achievement and checked a box that less than one percent of the world’s population can check – I ran a marathon. After months of pushing myself, working through injuries, lots and lots (and lots) of miles logged and several pairs of very expensive shoes, I was finally able to proudly say, “I’m part of the club.” Without a doubt every part of my life was consumed by training and preparing my body for this awesome feat of physical and mental endurance. To borrow a phrase, I ate, slept and drank “marathon.” I had no idea God was going to directly tie parenting to the time and focus it took to prepare and complete a marathon.
They say parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. We’re in it for the long haul and parenting completely consumes every part of our life. I’d like to offer several “race” tips as you prepare for the miles ahead.
1) Go easy on yourself. You’d never try to hit a 12-mile run in your first month of training. Why would you expect to have all the answers right from the beginning? You’re growing in Christ just as much as your tiny toddler (or tumultuous teenager) is growing. Reevaluate your expectations and give yourself some grace because you’re going to make mistakes. Your kids are allowed to make mistakes, too. God gave you these delightful kids and kids you should enjoy parenting!
2) Don’t train too hard. Your child isn’t perfect, so quit treating them like a potential prodigy. It’s ok to try new things and it’s also ok to say no to sports or dance if it just isn’t the right time for your family. Developing their character is your main focus; the rest will come with or without extracurriculars. Decide the three most important character traits you want your child to have and work on those. Revisit and revise your goals every month, quarter or year.
3) Trust the plan. God has parented through every generation, and this generation of kids isn’t a surprise to our Creator. Trust that He has a plan for your child that’s for their good and His glory (Jeremiah 29:11) He has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). You can find His parenting strategy in every page of the Bible. Praying Scripture daily for your child will help you surrender His sweet gift as you trust how God is growing your child.
4) Get a mentor, coach or training partner. Most runners will tell you that they have partners to push and encourage them to stay focused. The best way to lock arms with another parent in your life stage is to get plugged into community. Another option is to find a parenting mentor. They are the best and they offer an incredible amount of invaluable wisdom. Notice some outstanding youth at church and ask their parents to mentor you. They’ll be honored!
5) Celebrate what you’re accomplishing. You might be a little slow, but each day you’re training and pressing on toward the finish line. Each milestone that moves you closer to your goal is worth celebrating. When you run the race with God, I guarantee you’ll see some fruit in your life as well as in your child. Affirm what God is doing in their life and celebrate (ice cream’s my favorite).
6) Stay motivated. Your kids are ever changing and developing, and this stage that just might be the end of you will quickly disappear before the next one lands in your lap. God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23), and arguably every moment. God is faithful to encourage, equip and empower you to not only stay in the race but do so with joy. We can’t experience His daily encouragement unless we turn to Him and ask for it as we dive deep into His word.
Paul says, “I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace” (Acts 20:24). As you daily train for your parenting marathon, your faithfulness will be a testimony of God’s grace to your kids and everyone around you. You can do it!