Every spring when the weather begins to warm, the soft grass begins to peek out, and the beautiful green leaves begin to sprout on the trees, I get the itch to work in our garden. I love to clear out the debris from the winter and plant colorful flowers here and there around our yard. It just makes me happy!
This week as I was transplanting a little aster plant, I began thinking about how similar a parent’s job is to that of a gardener. God gives us precious newborn babies, and when these fragile little ones are placed in our arms for the first time, we feel the weight of responsibility descend. How do we as parents care for these little “seedlings” God has entrusted to us?
Nurturing the Seedlings
It is our job to protect our children from the elements of this world. Our home is the greenhouse that God has given us to nurture our little ones. As parents we are the gatekeepers of our home. We must be alert to the things that our children are watching on tv or what they see us watching on TV. We must be cautious of what radio stations we listen to in the car. We must be aware of what they may be exposed to when they play games on our phones or what they see us doing on our phones. First Peter 5:8 says that Satan is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Even our littlest ones have eyes and ears that need to be protected.
Years ago, when our children were little, our family went to the grocery store one day. When we got ready to check out, Ryan went down the checkout lane first and turned all the magazines backwards so our children wouldn’t see the questionable material on the covers. Ryan was protecting our children against exposure to damaging worldly influences. What a blessing to have a husband who courageously and vigilantly guards our family.
Within the walls of our greenhouse, we must also “feed” our children. God’s Word says in Deuteronomy 6:5-9,
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
What a blessing we have to implant God’s Word in the tender hearts of our children minute by minute. These days are short, and we must intentionally create opportunities to teach our children Bible truths, fill their ears with songs about Jesus, teach them simple Bible verses, and pray with them about the needs in their lives.
Be creative as you weave these teaching moments into your day. As you give your children a bath, teach them that Jesus can wash their sins away. As you cut their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tell them about Jesus feeding the crowd of people with a little boy’s lunch. As you water the plants talk to them about God creating the sunshine and the rain. As you go for a walk, pray for your neighbors to know Jesus. As you put your children to bed at night, pray and sing songs with them. Ask God to give you these special opportunities with your children and then be ready when they come.
In a greenhouse, a gardener also clips, prunes, and trains his plants so they will be strong, mature, fully developed, and fruitful. As parents, we have this opportunity in our homes as well. The Bible talks often about the loving father who disciplines his child and the mother who corrects her children. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way which he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” In the New Testament we read of God, our Heavenly Father, who lovingly disciplines and corrects His children.
There are many ways to train and discipline our children. As the years go by, we discover that our methods change as our children change; however, there are a few Biblical principles to keep in mind as we intentionally and specifically train our children.
- When we discipline our children, we must always discipline in love for the purpose of restoration not out of anger for the purpose of retaliation.
- Just as God gave his children consequences and rewards, so we should implement positive incentives as well as negative consequences.
- Seek biblical wisdom and godly counsel. Search God’s Word for wisdom on training and disciplining your children. Find parents who are several years ahead of you in their child-rearing journey and seek their advice or read Christ-centered books on parenting. Proverbs 11:14 says, “. . . there is success in an abundance of counselors.”
- Be consistent and do not become discouraged. Raising children is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay with it! Do not quit! My parenting life verse is Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Praise God!
Setting the Pots Outside
The purpose of a gardener in a greenhouse is to lovingly nurture and care for the littlest, most vulnerable seedlings, protecting them until their roots have grown deep and the plants are sturdier and better able to stand on their own. Then, it’s time! The gardener carefully transplants these young plants into bigger pots and sets them outside.
As our children continue to grow from infancy to childhood, we as parents begin to discerningly allow them exposure to the world. We register them for kindergarten. We sign them up for T-ball. We allow them to play with neighbor children. As they approach adolescence, we transplant them into bigger pots. They go to birthday parties (without us – I’ll tell you a story about that sometime). They go to summer camp. They get involved in clubs and sports at school. They make friends (who you may not know). Then come the bigger pots – driving, cell phones, part-time jobs, dating, and college visits.
The best thing about pots, though, is that they can be brought back into the greenhouse at the end of the day, when the weather is bad, when bugs start invading, or when disease strikes. All through the growth seasons of our children’s lives, we as parents are still vigilant gardeners tending to our “plants” – still protecting, still feeding and nourishing, still training. As the pots get bigger, it may look different, but our roles are still the same.
Transplanting the Full-Grown Plants
Then, one day, our little ones are grown, and we transplant them from our pots to a permanent place in the ground. How hard it is to push that shovel into the ground, scoop out the soil, and place our children in their new home. As we cover them back up and walk away, we can hardly believe how fast the time has gone and how quickly this part of our lives has drawn to a close. But as we turn back for another glance over our shoulder, we are truly amazed at the beautiful scene before us. Our little seedling that we tended so carefully has become an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of God’s splendor (Isaiah 61:3).
As the years go by, we as parents often find ourselves floundering as we adjust to these growth patterns and ever-changing seasons in our children’s lives. Here are three things to remember:
- This is normal. Seeing our children grow and mature is healthy. We don’t want them to stay weak, little saplings who are always dependent on us. We want them to be vibrant, flourishing, and fruit-bearing young adults. We want them to walk with the Lord, love His Word, and love people. John says in 3 John 4, “ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
- We still have a part to play. Yes, our children are grown, but we continue to love, support, encourage, and advise (when appropriate - but that’s a subject for another day). We cheer for our children and flood them with words of affirmation. And, pray, pray, pray! This is a ministry we have in our children and grandchildren’s lives for generations to come.
- The third, and most important, thing to remember is what we have known all along. Our children’s growth, ability to thrive, and fruitfulness has never been in our control at all. We are the gardeners. We tend, feed, water, train, and protect, but every good and perfect gift is from God alone (James 1:17). We and our children belong to Him. Our families and our futures are in His hands. He has called us to be faithful gardeners. He will bring the increase!
Whether you are a parent carefully nurturing your children in your protective “greenhouse,” or you are gingerly placing them outside in various sized pots, or you are have already permanently transplanted them into the ground of life, you do not cease to be a gardener. We must continue to faithfully care for those God has given us, and then trust Him for the bountiful harvest.