Early in my career as a social worker, I counseled a mother of five, one of whom was her 15-year-old son who had been truant in school and had gotten in with the wrong crowd. She was desperate for help, which clearly compelled her to show up to every session on time and follow all my advice to a T. After a few sessions, her hard work started paying off. Things were looking up as her son began attending school without a fight. Then, out of nowhere, I received a phone call from her. She was devastated as she told me that her son had run away and was nowhere to be found. I could sense weariness as she yearned for a glimmer of hope amid an impossibly dark situation. I felt as if I had failed her by giving her a Band-Aid to dress a gaping wound that required surgical intervention, but my degree prohibited me from connecting her to the Great Physician.
As I frantically jumped in my car to come to her aid, I cried out to Jesus, “Lord, I have given her all the practical help I have to offer. I know who she needs is You. You alone can provide her with a peace that transcends all understanding. You are the light that her son needs to overcome the darkness he is facing. You alone can bring hope and healing to this family, and I can’t even mention Your name. I am tired of putting Band-Aids on people when I know Your healing hands are the only hope they have for a lasting recovery.” In that moment the Lord responded to me in a still and quiet voice that was audible only to my spirit. He said, “I am freeing you up for ministry.”
During that season, I was working part-time as a social worker while volunteering as the women’s minister at my church. In addition to that, I was homeschooling our two daughters. I was exhausted and keenly aware that I was spread too thin to do anything with excellence. So, to be “freed up for ministry” had to mean I would be stepping down from my part-time job that prohibited me from sharing the gospel to pour myself more fully into the ministry roles He had given me. But that’s not what happened next. Ironically, I was called to step away from my ministry role at the church to catch my breath and find a healthy balance in being a wife, mother, homeschool teacher, and financial contributor for our family.
I’ll never forget the day that our lead pastor sent out a churchwide email announcing that I would be stepping down from leading women’s ministry. Tears welled up in my eyes and bitterness took root in my heart as I cried out in frustration to the Lord. “Why didn’t You free me up for ministry like you promised? This is the opposite of what You said. I don’t get it. Did I not hear You correctly?”
Just then my husband, not knowing anything about my emotional state or my conversation with God, sent me an article about Jenny Lake. We had just returned from a family vacation to Wyoming where we visited the Grand Tetons. My absolute favorite part of our time in Wyoming was a hike we took around Jenny Lake. It was breathtaking, not solely because it shared my name. The water reflected clear, blue skies with snowcapped mountains while we strolled leisurely through paths shaded by aspens whose leaves glistened in the sun. The sound of nature surrounded us with songs sung by birds and splashes of water that playful geese produced.
As I wiped my tears, I clicked on the article. It read, “Jenny Lake is undergoing a multi-year renewal project that is expected to extend into 2017.” It was currently 2015. I continued reading, “The purpose of the renovation is to restore a ½ mile trail between Hidden Falls to Inspiration Point.” As I read the words on the page, I knew God was telling me that I needed the restorative work that only His Spirit could provide. He would use this pause in ministry to renovate my heart. The result of this sanctifying work would create a path to Inspiration Point, where He had already promised to take me, but for now I must sit and wait under the quiet shade of Hidden Falls.
In 2017, I got a call from the church asking me to step back into my role as Women’s Minister, and at that moment, I knew God was fulfilling His promise from two years earlier to “free me up for ministry.” After I gladly accepted the ministry role I had been longing to return to, I quickly researched where Jenny Lake’s renovation project was. It was reported that the restorative work had just been completed, providing a new path from Hidden Falls to Inspiration Point.
God had just made one of my biggest dreams come to true in a perfectly spectacular way and my first thought was to give God a brief thank You before I got to work charting a plan for how I would strategically excel in this new ministry role. Then fear instantly filled my heart as I realized how inadequate I was for the job at hand. I wondered if the dream I had held onto for years was truly the best fit. What if I let everyone down? What if I wasn’t good enough? It was then that God spoke to my spirit and asked, “When will you stop and consider how powerful I am? When will you pause and praise me for the work of My hands? When will you learn to rest in the long record of My faithfulness?”
His questions pierced my heart. Although God had written a story of faithfulness throughout the days of my life, I was always looking forward, desperate for more, living in fear while I wondered if I would have enough or be enough to face the storm I saw brewing on the horizon. My eyes were anchored on myself and fixed on the future. I rarely, if ever, paused to reflect on God’s steady faithfulness.
I don’t think I am the only one caught in this foolish cycle of approaching a powerful and faithful God, overwhelmed with fear of my future, only to forget all He has done in my past. We are prone to forget, just like the Israelites did time and time again as they escaped slavery and wandered in the wilderness. Which is why we must be intentional to break this fearful cycle by forcing our eyes off ourselves, our weakness, and our need, and fix them on Jesus as we take time to remember who He is and what He has done. We are desperately in need of a Selah moment.
Selah is a word you have likely come across as you have read through the pages of Scripture. It is a Hebrew word recorded 71 times in the book of Psalms and 3 times in the book of Habakkuk. Selah is an instruction calling for a break to pause, be silent, and reflect on what was just said or done. It might surprise you to know that the Trinity works together to remind us to remember.
For instance, in Deuteronomy 8:18 God instructs His children to remember Him and what He has done, then in 1 Corinthians 11:24-25 Jesus instructs us to remember Him when He says, “Do this in remembrance of me,” referring to communion, and in John 14:26 the Holy Spirit is described as having the important job of helping us to remember Jesus’ words and put them to practice.
Taking the time to remember who God is and what He has done, not just in our own lives but in His story of redemption, provides us with an everlasting hope we can cling to in the most difficult circumstances.
In Psalm 119:55 we see there is power in remembering God in the midst of the darkness around us. In Psalm 42:5-6 we discover we can experience hope while we wait if we choose to remember God. In Deuteronomy 8:10-18 we read that remembering God prevents pride and produces praise. And if that isn’t enough reason for us to set aside time to remember God’s marvelous work, in Exodus 2:23-25 we see that God Himself takes time to remember His children and the promises He has made them.
When was the last time you paused, intentionally, to remember God’s faithfulness to you? Remembering is a spiritual discipline for the maturing Christian who desires to grow in his or her faith. It has the power to silence fear and bring hope to impossible circumstances. Furthermore, remembering God’s words and work bring Him the praise and glory He rightly deserves.
Take a moment today to pause and reflect on the miracle of your salvation, the answered prayers you have witnessed, and the promises God has fulfilled, as you lean on Jesus and worship Him for the story of redemption He has beautifully written for you.
I have included the lyrics to “Remember” by Lauren Daigle for you to reflect on while you intentionally pursue a Selah moment with the Lord.
In the darkest hour, when I cannot breathe
Fear is on my chest, the weight of the world on me
Everything is crashing down, everything I had known
When I wonder if I'm all alone
I remember, I remember
You have always been faithful to me
I remember, I remember
Even when my own eyes could not see
You were there, always there
I will lift my eyes even in the pain
Above all the lies, I know You can make a way
I have seen giants fall, I have seen mountains move
I have seen waters part because of You
I remember (I remember) I remember (I remember)
You have always been faithful to me
I remember (I remember) I remember (I remember)
Even when my own eyes could not see
You were there, always there
I can't stop thinking about
I can't stop thinking about
I can't stop thinking about
Your goodness, goodness
I remember, I remember
You have always been faithful to me
I remember (I remember) I remember (I remember)
Even when my own eyes could not see
You were there, always there, with me
Songwriters: Chris Tomlin / Ed Cash / Jason Ingram / Lauren Daigle / Paul Mabury
Remember lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing, Essential Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC