I remember being handed my newborn baby as I checked out of the hospital thinking, “Don't I need a special license for this?” I felt so vulnerable to be given this huge responsibility. But the Lord provides exactly what we need for what He has called us to do. Just as God gave me the grace to help that babe learn to walk, talk and tie his shoes, He is giving me the grace to continue to teach my kids each day.
As Christian parents, we are commanded to teach our children the ways of the Lord. No matter what schooling choice we make, we can be intentional in teaching our children to love God and people. Homeschooling doesn't carry a magic guarantee that our kids will walk with the Lord, but I am thankful for the gift of time to nurture them toward this goal.
Here are seven ways I’ve seen homeschooling provide opportunities for discipleship in our family:
- Teachable moments throughout our days
Jesus came to earth to dwell with us. His relationship with his disciples was a walking, talking, teaching-as-they-went-along dynamic. He took advantage of circumstances for teachable moments. He gave them opportunities to stretch, and he showed them how God could provide in unbelievable ways.
Homeschooling puts me right beside my kids for those golden learning moments. Yes, it stretches my humility and patience to “wash dirty feet” and answer questions again and again. But as we talk about the Lord Deuteronomy 6:7-style (as we “sit at home, walk along the road, as we lie down and when we get up”), I am becoming more like Jesus.
- Asking good questions
Jesus often asked questions to teach his followers what was most important. This is a fabulous discipleship tool for us as parents, both to get to know our kids and to guide their thinking. “Is this choice me-centered or others-centered? What is my motivation in pursuing x or y? How does this line up with the principles we find in Scripture?”
When we read a book or watch a movie together, we like to guide our kids to consider what messages they find with key questions like:
- “What is the big idea here? What did the creators want us to walk away with or convince us of?”
- “What does this say about God or humanity?”
- “In this scenario, who is the authority on what is good or evil?”
- “Where would the author/character say we can find purpose and hope?”
Whether you’re diving into Les Miserables or The Lego Movie, these jumping off points can lead to fruitful discussions and encourage our kids to use discernment in every area of life. The books Mama Bear Apologetics and Starting Points Worldview Primer feature some great questions to jumpstart discussions with your family.
- Purposeful time together and strong family bonds
Another tool for discipleship we have found through homeschooling is simply time together.
I want to be the strongest voice in my children's lives. I often need to shift my “production-line” mentality of getting school done to embrace the never-done work of listening and pouring life-giving words into my children.
Taking advantage of road trips to join my husband in his work, or waking kids up to watch a rare astronomical event or “milkshakes by moonlight” (then letting them sleep in) are a few ways a flexible schedule helps us make memories and forge family identity. Making music together, laughing over games, hiking for nature study, and serving on mission in our neighborhood or across the world gives us a rich environment for growth.
One of the most powerful bonding elements in our homeschool is reading aloud great books. When Lucy and Edmund and Charlotte and Wilbur are your mutual friends, how can you not grow closer? We have ventured into unknown worlds together; we can speak the language. We are insiders to the story. Talk about connection! If you're looking for great family book ideas, check out Honey for a Child's Heart, Read-Aloud Revival, and books from Sonlight. Redeemed Reader is a great place to preview books you haven't read before.
- Refining our character and asking forgiveness
The flip side of lots of time together means that as imperfect people, we often get on each other’s nerves. We are all sinners. Instead of a downside, however, that challenge has been one of the biggest blessings for discipleship. Because we are “forced” to be together so much, we are learning to work through relational obstacles, ask for forgiveness, and offer grace quickly. There’s no escaping the character building that needs to happen. I want to raise adults I want to be friends with and enjoy being around and that process starts now! It helps that I can quickly see character issues that crop up in my own heart or in my children’s lives and we can work through it together.
- Setting a compass for the good, beautiful, and true
I love that we get to establish what we call “good” in our home. Our children will be exposed all their lives to a variety of ideas, and we are training them to think critically about those. But in their foundational days, we are laying a feast of the best stories, art, music, exploration, worship, relationships, and conversation we can muster. We are seeking to hold forth the Word of God in winsome ways. We are modeling what we call “the good life.”
Just as we want to give our children actual food filled with nutrients, we want to guide their tastes in these early days toward things that are beneficial and glorifying to God and likely to bring nourishment to their souls.
- Choosing godly mentors
One key area of discipleship is helping our kids choose godly mentors. We want them to have Christ-like influences besides us who model wisdom and teach them skills. Networking with others and building community is a vital part of flourishing.
Our church Community Group and our Trail Life troop are rich with solid mentors. I love seeing wise men from my son’s troop pass on practical skills and a servant mindset. We’ve spent lots of time with these leaders and have conversations with our son about what we value in them. We pray this will help him as he chooses influences throughout his life and as he mentors others.
The importance of godly mentorship is so key to our family culture that we built it into our primary ministry at Christian Halls International, which is a new way of approaching college education. If we approach education as primarily soul formation (the forming of a whole person in light of eternal purpose), then the college experience is about far more than just gaining information or a degree. We design each Christian Hall as a partnership between local mentors, our students, and our universities, so students can remain embedded in their communities and build relationships with elders, employers, and godly families while they complete their formal study. This can be a helpful way for families to encourage young men and women to continue in discipleship as they advance in learning.
- Dependence on God
Finally, homeschooling has been a tool to show me my dependence on God and for my children to see how much I need Him. When we pray for God-sized tasks, it is evident that He is the one who is victorious. Daily I come to the end of myself and ask the Lord to renew my mind, rely on Him for endurance and patience, and develop in me the fruits of the Spirit. Because my children get to see how imperfect I am, they daily get to see how great our God is in providing “everything we need for life and godliness” (1 Peter 1:3). He is our strength and our hope!
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I pray that whatever schooling model you choose, you will be encouraged today as you walk with your children. Take advantage of teachable moments, ask good questions, spend time bonding together, ask each other for forgiveness and lean into the work of relationship building, choose godly mentors, and fully depend on the Lord for everything He has called you to. He is faithful and He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24)!
“All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children." —Isaiah 54:13