Dude Perfect is an American sports and comedy group that specializes in trick shots and crowd entertainment…in Jesus’ name. One way they have made their mark is by creating videos where they identify and poke fun at stereotypes of people that we all recognize. One of the stereotypes that shows up in almost every one of these videos is the “Rage Monster.” It is always Tyler Toney that plays this part, and he absolutely loses it as he goes to the extreme in venting his anger. It’s funny, but it also makes you raise your eyebrows a bit with his “over the top” outpouring of physical and verbal spewing… mostly him just yelling at the top of his lungs and destroying objects around him. (Here’s a video for you to get the idea.)
The sad reality is that we all know somebody who fits that “Rage Monster” stereotype to some degree, and it sure isn’t funny when it comes out. The hard truth to face is that although we may not give full vent to our anger in a public way, that rage monster lives inside each of us and raises its ugly head in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. It might not erupt like a volcano, but that monster can take on many forms. It shows up in passive aggressive behaviors like sarcasm, negative comments, judgmental words, criticism, gossip, the silent treatment and withholding affection from others. It can also show up in overtly aggressive ways like yelling, cursing, name-calling, punching walls, slamming fists on the table, and verbal or physical violence towards others. The tendency is to minimize it, excuse it, rationalize it, even justify it, but try as we might, we know that we have an ugly problem, and we need to face the truth and deal with it.
Is anger itself a sin? Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.” So, it is possible to be angry and not be sinning. Anger is an emotion that we feel based on the circumstances around us, just like feeling sad, happy, fearful or surprised. It’s not a sin to feel any of these emotions, so feeling anger itself is not a sin. But be careful with that idea. There is a warning in James 1:19-20 that we need to pay attention to. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Nine times out of ten, man’s anger does not result in righteous thoughts or behavior. This is not only displeasing to God, but it is destructive in our relationships, especially with those we love.
But is the practical solution just to be angry and not sin? Easier said than done for most of us. I remember when my anger would express itself towards my young children in my tone of voice and my elevated volume. I felt the rage monster inside of me, growing in intensity and I was definitely sinning. My excuses were thin and shifting the blame was futile. I knew that the problem was in me, not in my kids. I would vent and then feel conviction along with a mixture of guilt and shame. I always went to my kids to ask for their forgiveness, and they were so gracious to forgive. God and I talked about my anger a lot, but this pattern continued, and my shame increased. My guilt became crushing, and I found myself feeling helpless to conquer this ungodly habit. I hated my sin, but I could not defeat it in my own power and God did not seem to be answering my prayers for deliverance. But one day things changed for me.
God offered help to me by bringing a godly mentor and friend into my life, someone who had been down a similar road of struggles and had found freedom on his journey. Once I shared my struggles with him, he and I began to meet regularly and he helped me face the roots of my anger, which looked like a metaphorical hairball of unhealed hurts from my past, unhealthy habits and ungodly strongholds that needed to be torn down. It was not an overnight transformation, but rather a new way of thinking and dealing with my pain and unhealthy coping strategies.
I can’t share everything that I learned in this article, but I’d like to share a few thoughts for anyone who is struggling with out-of-control anger, or any besetting sin, for that matter.
Fear of what other people think of us will keep us pitifully trapped in our sins. We worry about our image, so we keep people at a distance. If they get too close, they may see our flaws and run away from us. We want acceptance and unconditional love, but that’s not how this works-based world works. Fear of rejection keeps us quiet about our inner ugliness and, ironically, this keeps us isolated and alone in a crowd. The truth is that everyone is broken, but no one admits it…normally. But when one brave soul confesses their imperfections and shortcomings, their humility is like a cold drink of water to a thirsty soul. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins one to another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Time does not heal emotional wounds. Mutual confession and prayer for each other does…not instantaneously, but the healing begins. That’s how God works. When we pull down our “masks” and no one shrinks back in horror at what they see. They share their flaws and failures too and we experience what God gives us in His Son…grace, love, acceptance, and healing. Again, this is not a quick fix. It’s a new way of living...the life that Jesus invited us to join Him in (John 10:10).
The day I trusted in Christ as my Savior, the Lord did not clean up all my junk. It didn’t do that for you either. Our daily mess reminds us of that. My soul was raised from the dead spiritually. God made me alive in His Son, but my transformation had just begun. Being born again immersed me into Christ’s life (Galatians 3:27), and now by the power of the Holy Spirit inside of me, I am being changed from the inside out. And He will not stop working in me, in all who belong to Him, until the day we die or the day that Christ returns. (Philippians 1:6, Philippians 2:13)
God will enable us to defeat our pride and fear, but that comes with faith and obedience. Fear and shame do not stand a chance when we obediently walk in the truth of God’s Word. Psalm 34:4-5 says, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed.” Bring that Rage Monster (or whatever secret sin you’re dealing with) out into the light of truth by confession and prayer. You also might consider attending a Christ-centered recovery group like Celebrate Recovery or talking with a Christian counselor. You might ask God to bring you a godly mentor who has been walking the path of freedom and has something to share with you. Don’t give up in the struggle. It does work if you work it.
The apostle John beautifully wrote in 1 John 1:5-7, “This is the message God has given us to pass on to you: that God is Light and in him is no darkness at all. So if we say we are his friends but go on living in spiritual darkness and sin, we are lying. But if we are living in the light of God’s presence, just as Christ does, then we have wonderful fellowship and joy with each other, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from every sin.”
You can’t keep it a secret and expect to be set free. Secrets only keep us sick.
Recommended Resources
Celebrate Recovery
Celebrate Recovery at Central Bible Church
Biblical Counseling Network
Central Counseling